Again. Life happened.
Hello dear Reader
It’s been a long while since I have written here.
Life happened.
AGAIN!
Well, let me start where I ended.
I unplublished my last substack story.
I didn’t realize how personal it was, till when a substacker who I respect very much, remarked it discreetly in a comment.
I have learned a valuable lesson.
Or have I? Maybe a little though.
I don’t know why I am why I am, but I am not the only one like me.
A blogger.
Sharing the story of my life.
Is it a sin?
Is it so wrong?
For some people, it is wrong and they frown upon it.
Then there are some people who understand where I am coming from, and some who appreciate it.
In the aftermath of that personal substack, during that time, we knew, we are packing up my dream.
Our beloved farm guesthouse.
I feel like a failure. At the same time, relief to be free of the burden.
Then unexpectedly, my mother-in-law passed away.
1 March 2025.
I have not processed it yet.
I haven’t realised it fully yet.
Once again, I had to try and stand strong, and see this moving out through.
A sunrise photo of the last morning I woke up there.
I have written my heart out on Facebook through out this whole past month of trauma.
To move they say, is one of the biggest traumas, bigger than death.
Technically I am not moving - moving.
We packed up there and put things in storage and have a overflow of memories in boxed that need to be go through and decided, keep, donate or sell.
We are staying in familiar surroundings still. However, there are lots of changes happening and lot of sorting out to be done still.
I also got ill during March.
Old age suddenly a reality.
I will write another Substack about that.
My heart is just full.
Inbetween the chaos, often finding comfort reading valuable content here on Substack.
At the moment, my soul feel empty.
Emptier than empty.
I just want to take a moment. To process everything in my life. Not even thinking of everything going on in the world.
My life story is nothing compared to life happened through earthquakes and nature disasters.
I find it hard to read Bible and pray.
I find it hard to focus to do anything now.
I just want rest now. This too shall pass.
It is coming up to Easter.
I want to focus on Jesus. Even though this all, all this chaos, all this changes, I miss God!
I long for routine and quiet time with Him.
I pray He understands. I know He does. For when I am weak, He is strong.
Battered and bruised. Moving on with the seasons of life.
Numb and on autopilot. Again! Picking up the pieces again, adapting and with grace to myself, where there is a will, we will find a way.
Counting down toward the big 50 in June.
May God restore all we have lost. Miraculously. I don’t know how, but I believe with all my heart God can restore what the enemy has stolen.
From all of us.
Till next time.
Peace & blessings.
Thanks for your candor. Faith is grown here. Someone needed what you wrote. 🙏
Mariska, you will find the strength and grace to navigate these changes. Sending you much love.